cross the RED
philosophy of love
Like all people - I was born double minded, self-destructive and greedy, enslaved by needs and petty desires willing to please and conquer the world. So, I identified with fragmented parts of myself and my expressions - an image-maker, a child, a mother, a wife, lover, beauty, artist, former communist, financier, libertarian, winner, loser, abuser, abused, thinker, writer, language enthusiast, chocolatier, Christian, a child of God, a theater, the whole world and a small little nothing too. Sounds familiar? I just didn`t know what or whom to associate myself with. Who am I?
" I wanted the whole world or nothing.
I wanted you. " - Charles Bukowski
Then, in 2019 I met the Mother of God, St.Jude and later Jesus and the Holy Spirit himself.
Something mysterious happened to me - I became a mystery to myself.
My search for what to do and how to be was over -
I knew who I am and with whom to associate myself with.
I suddenly and unintentionally started to do 3 things
and been doing them since:
1st. - I (intentionally) DON`T EXERCISE and every morning
I WALK ON TIP TOES
backward and forward while reading the Bible for some 10-15 minutes;
2nd. I pray. Our Father and the Rosary often;
3rd.- I absolutely DENY any desire to be loved, desired, valued and evaluated
by people. Even the closest ones.
And here is the result -
from the state of a "wanna be me"/trying to be many things
(as described in the paragraph above) -
now I have this deep knowing -
I am all of it already. I am the PERFECTION. The image of God.
I associate myself (me + my husband) only with Love / God.
It`s a sense of "havingness".
CONTENTMENT.
The irreversible fulfilment of the identity in Christ.
I have become the Love itself, the Beauty itself, the Fruit itself and the Value itself. Only because now I am the child of God.
I guess, one would say - God has resolved my identity and value crisis.
And because of this sense of value, sprang out the desire to share my experience and
inspiration of Christian faith with other people - so they too could re-establish relationship with with the Love / Christ, without wasting their lives on looking for love while it is right here - in Christ, the I am.
I call myself a Philosopher of Love and my life is my journey in Mysterium of Christus.
"Only love interests me, and I am only in contact with things that revolve around love" - Marc Chagall
"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth."
Genesis 1:26
“Religion is not a belief; it is the choiceless discovery of what is sacred. Every person for himself / herself.”
- Jiddu Krishnamurti
I used to take things for granted and only valued that what was earnable, that I didn`t have (yet). Perpetually wanting and fearing of not having. Like madame Bovary - and perhaps all of us before seriously discovering what is sacred in Christ.
It all was changed by God and God alone.
Ever since I met God, I started to sincerely appreciate and value all the people and things that are in my life. I`m driven by "havingness" versus lack. Every day I discover more and more what a glorious life Im living and what amazing gifts God has given me - my family, my daughter, my husband, my parents, friends, neighbors, pets, things.
And most importantly - I know for sure it is not ME, who has earned or deserves to have them. Only by the Grace of God I have been blessed with. Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ. Now I know whom to thank and what is SACRED to be thankful to and for. Love is sacred and the sense of havingness and gratitude
it brings is sacred too.
" Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." - Jesus Christ
Love in secret, like Jesus commanded us.
When I am love, I do love, it shines out of me, without me trying to shine / love.
Like Margaret Thatcher has said: "If you have to say you are a lady, most probably you are not."
It is the embodiment of the mystery of "I am" and "I do", which is the MARRIAGE, the UNITY with Christ / Love in me.
Like walking on tip toes - carefully, quietly, in obedience to God only. In Christ and by Christ alone.
Returning back to Paradise. To the original design of mankind.
Thank you, Lord!
I could have never done it by myself.
Everita Dave - Thompson
